Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
