Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Bring me that man meat
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
