She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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