My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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