Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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