why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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