Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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