girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
