All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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