I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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