Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
