I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
