oh god the rape fog is back!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
