I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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