we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
