How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize