Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
