She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize