I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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