She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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