Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
