i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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