she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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