The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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