why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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