I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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