He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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