This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
