There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
