Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Never joke about your clitoris.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
