I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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