Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize