We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
