I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
