I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
