He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
