wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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