I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
