Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
