I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
