I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
