do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
