did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
