i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
