If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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