I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
