I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You need Xanax blowdarts
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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