I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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