did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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