I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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