I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize