Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
