Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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  (651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (992)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4246) Bad night (1510)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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  (423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3
  Replies (37) Good night (4163) Bad night (1078)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??

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  (931): How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"?? http://tfl.nu/pyr1
  Replies (11) Good night (2943) Bad night (1121)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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  (314): just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college http://tfl.nu/eu7q
  Replies (60) Good night (11089) Bad night (762)
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  (909): View more from California

  my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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  (909): my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks http://tfl.nu/7ncm
  Replies (16) Good night (1141) Bad night (4219)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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  (401): You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game http://tfl.nu/zcqx
  Replies (3) Good night (2637) Bad night (833)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1250) Bad night (1106)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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  (773): he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer. http://tfl.nu/dnae
  Replies (7) Good night (2701) Bad night (659)
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  (+36): View more from

  until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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  (+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay
  Replies (4) Good night (2196) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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  (845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1491) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1547) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair

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  (+31): Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair http://tfl.nu/outv
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..

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  (306): I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights. (1-306): I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year.. http://tfl.nu/9s2f
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it

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  (316): Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it http://tfl.nu/i3st
  Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (315)

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