Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???

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  (214): he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me??? http://tfl.nu/mbxc
  Replies (126) Good night (774) Bad night (10442)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3194) Bad night (1171)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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  (708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug
  Replies (10) Good night (5819) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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  (678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat
  Replies (8) Good night (1515) Bad night (3754)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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  (417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8
  Replies (17) Good night (998) Bad night (3069)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.

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  (303): i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once. http://tfl.nu/besu
  Replies (17) Good night (1921) Bad night (3131)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.

  (607): View more from New York

  way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses

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  (607): im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour. (607): way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses http://tfl.nu/5by3
  Replies (10) Good night (4806) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (1614)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.

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  (604): I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune. http://tfl.nu/081q
  Replies (6) Good night (1186) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face

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  (+44): Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face http://tfl.nu/5obj
  Replies (19) Good night (811) Bad night (1225)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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  (831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56
  Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (590)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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  (513): Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth. http://tfl.nu/s6hy
  Replies (5) Good night (1948) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto

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  (314): He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto http://tfl.nu/i261
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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  (814): I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had. http://tfl.nu/5qob
  Replies (3) Good night (293) Bad night (1093)

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