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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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• (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (406): View more from Montana

  One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options

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