I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
about cumming, not toast
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10