Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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