Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
