You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
