we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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