mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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