How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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