i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
