Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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