I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
