Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
