"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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