Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
