Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
