You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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